So my final started today - my written - and it sucked! My teacher's test are so utterly frustrating it drives me crazy! Have you ever had a teacher that gave you test on stuff that they never cover? So when you get the test you are utterly blindsided ( apparently I like utterly today) I miss Cuesta College right now and there disabled student program - I felt like they really wanted me to succeed. Here I am not feeling like that - at all. My practical is tomorrow and I think that will go better but I am not sure. I have been thinking that maybe I choose the wrong school that maybe I should have went to the French Culinary Institute in Ny. I guess I shouldn't think like that but I can't help it right now. I will have the same Chef instructor for a third class and a class that he has been vocal about not wanting to teach. Actually, what his exact words were " you should be glad that I am not teaching that class" well he is and I am not sure what to think?

It is Memorial Day and of course I am working ...got to keep going if I am going to retire by the time I am forty hehehehe

I was thinking how amazing the changes in my life are. My life since I went back to school has pretty much done a 180 and I am not on that downward spiral of doom and gloom. Thank the higher powers, the pilgrimage-camino de santiago, positive thinking, the secret? Who knows and it doesn't really matter except that things are better. After, over a year of crap - life is good and getting better.

I am thankful for that and for those that did stick by me through the last year I know it was not easy or rather that I was not easy to deal with and Thank You! It if kind of wierd to look back and parts of the last year I don't even remember which in the end I guess is good.
Thanks again!

So I have been working both jobs and I am tired and I am thinking I have bit off more than I can chew. Is that really anything new? I need to work on that. What I am concerned about right now is can I really make great bread for a fancy restaurant in Napa? I am feeling like - no tonight. Maybe I am just tired.

SO tonight is the start of a three day weekend and pretty much the dorm is empty everyone has gone home. What to do maybe ...sleep. One of my classmates left there car for me so I get to go to Napa and maybe go to Wholefoods or something, mainly just get out. 

So many things happened this week I feel like Monday was two weeks ago. I have recently found that when one is up for twenty plus hours in a day - that day then feels like three days and things get distorted. Sat & Sun I worked an insane amount of hours training with the bread job and working my shifts at the store (26 hrs). I won the RA position here at the dorm which really isn't like any other RA position - mainly just making sure the kitchen doesn't burn down and that there are no keggers going on and in exchange I get money taken off my bill. Which is fantastic! Lets get that number lower and lower.

Some point this past week I got in to it with my team mate (still the same girl)she is a b***h! My only solace in that situation is we get new team mates in a week and someone else will have to deal with her. Our team leader tried to talk with her because others are having issues with her as well and it didn't go well - at least I know it is not just me anymore. Today to top it off she wanted to work on these rolls all by her self and karma is great she f**ked it up hahahahah! They came out like rocks.

Then today was like Christmas I got the car, an a lap top for the weekend oh and I was given a mini refrig hip hip hooray!

Great News! Rock Star news! I got this job baking bread at the Wine Spectator - it was such a long shot when I applied for it. Very exciting!
So I am now doing my two weeks at the Campus Store, training with the bread baker and school ...it is a bit much, thi sweekend I put in 30 hours in two days. The people at the store were not being nice at all due to me giving notice. SO I am trying if they keep it up I am going to walk and screw the notice.
I am also trying to see if I can home tis weekend coming up ...we will see

It's getting hot here

So all of you know how much I hate the heat! It has been over 100 degrees three days in a row and I am dying!!!!
I don't now if they were kidding but they said it is like this until November ...ugh!!!!

LAMINATED dough other wise known as

Croissants, Bear Claws & Pain au Chocolate ( a chocolate croissant) So today was hotter than heck it was 93 degrees at 8:30 pm in the teaching kitchen. YUK!! I am not used to this heat - plus our uniform is a great percentage of polyester...they are wonderful! As the sweat runs down my legs!

My new team mate kind of sucks - she is a hard core Jersey girl! She acts like there is a marathon to be ran when there isn't one and is always taking short cuts or just throwing shit out she doesn't want to do... it is very aggrivating. And to top it off last night she was blaming me for shit that went wrong - I lost my lid.

So I am the lucky one of class so far and have gotten the two bottom choices for teammates. My current teammate was so verbally abusive to her last teammate that he dropped out because she was such a bitch and he didn't want to deal with her anymore. Maybe I am getting all the difficult options over now and the rest of my teammates are going to be super stars- or maybe it is me?

So it is Sunday night (Mothers Day) I just finished work and I am getting ready for my new class that starts tomorrow - Hearth Breads and Rolls. Not only do I have to print out all these course guides and syllabus but recipes and such as well - and then I need to iron my uniforms. Nothing to exciting happened yesterday except for a few trips to the hardware store (which is a pain in the ass when you have to walk and it is about twenty min each way) I was trying to get one of those hooks to go over my closet door nothing worked - they were all to small.

I went with some friends from class on a small drive just to get out of St Helena a little bit (looking for adventure) and we ended up in Yountville. Home of the famed French Laundry and Buchon restaurants, of course we did not eat there since FL has a dinner charge of oh 200.00 a person approx ...we just peaked in the windows and then took some back roads home. Then back at the dorms a bunch of people pitched (sp?) in and made a fabulous Vegetable Lasagna and salad for dinner.
Well thats all for now

24 weeks to go

Ok, I made it through my Baking techniques class 24 more weeks to go. My written test was Wednesday and the practical was Thursday and  and I actually did really well on the practical. Of course I had the usual test anxiety and don't remember much of it as usual. My practical I pulled (there was 4 different options that you had to study for) was on 4 bagettes and 4 batards 30 cookies dipped and un dipped (in chocolate)as well as a 1/2 recipe of pastry cream in four hours. So, I am really glad that is over! The next class is Hearth Bread & Rolls for three weeks and then Pastry Techniques for three weeks and then summer break! 

The last week and a half was pretty hard staying up late (1-2 am) to study and then being up early to study and really only one day off. I pretty much can only work about 25 hours a week (which is nothing) and I am exhausted! I am out of the house Mon thru Fri from 8:30 am - 9pm and then Sunday 9:45 - 6:15pm. We had a freak day off today and I pretty much just slept and went for a long hike, walk. We BBQ'd tonight nothing like the lazy Sundays back in the day in H town. Although, we did have a guac off - which then provided some great guacomole and an amazing amount of bread from everyones practical.  I have been really missing everyone and home! And can not wait to come and visit everyone. Maybe go to a Blues game ...have they started playing again yet? 

Contra Dancing

Ok, so I went with a group of classmates to Contra Dancing last night. It was rather hilarious - it is like square dancing but with no squares. It was also like dancing with the Amish - and they were very serious. Apparently, many of them compete who knew there was Contra Dancing Competions? And then we had mexican food in Calistoge which was ok - good. I think the good part comes from the fact I haven't had any mexican food since I left SLO.

Finals this week, again. I am only nervous because test make me nervous but I think it will be ok I have to make 3 things in 4 hours and it is going to be totally random.

I am hanging in there this week. I am so very tired. I have definately learned that with this school you can not work fulltime - you just can't. I have always been one of those people that has held a job while going to school and usually fulltime or two part time jobs. This place kicks your ass and you just can't. I kind of freaked out the othere day and yelled at my instructor which is not a good thing. I lost points for the day for it and was also made an example of ...no fun there.
I took an extra morining off this week to recover and sleep and I am doing better now. I am glad I am here it is just very hard at times.