First Day @ CIA

Ok so amazing! - so amazing! Yes, I am still terrified that they are going to kick me out at any minute - especially when someone final looks at my bill - but, oh so amazing!
The school really is a castle (3 storries) and it looks out over Charles Krug vineyard and the neighbor to the right is Berringer. Looking out my room you see the Berringer grapes/vineyard. The town could not be any cuter! Kind of like Templeton meets San Luis Obispo. There is a Dean & Deluca market.
Today was pretty much lecturer after lecture be on time, dress professionally yada yada yada -but, at lunch wow! the food and I am going to make that eventually so cool! Blinis with a raspberry caviar, hornets with creme fresche and strawberry caviar, and these egg shells (hollowed out of course) filled with maple angalise, meringue and bacon bits, and the best was french toast rolled in panko and a grilled pineapple was on top with creme fresche - I am still surprised how much I liked that! I hope to have some pictures soon oh, and guess what I am not the oldest person here yippeyy! I have met some very nice people and I have to tell you about the rental car next time
Adios

Endings & Beginings

So wierd I am ready to go and nobody is here - it is kind of like I am sneaking off in the night. I was thinking this was a lot easier this whole moving and transforming ones self 16 years ago when I did it the first time - I was also much more confident I guess then I am now hopefully that will change. I will miss everyone a lot! A lot a lot!

Transforming your dreams into reality can be quite a challenge now, for even though you see the outcome in your mind's eye, the manifestation is still different from the fantasy. You may be tempted to fight for great gains, but you'll be more successful by narrowing your focus and taking one small step at a time.
By Rick Levine
Sunday, March 30, 2008

Lots of love

smile?

I am trying - I guess I need to see one ... a smile that is

Ups and downs

So I am suppose to move tomorrow all my stuff is packed and ready too go. Here is the bad part I guess since the whole acceptance thing was right down to the wire I did not get my financial aid award letter until wed or thurs of this week and I thought it was pretty good news I was awarded about half of the money needed to go to this school. I don't know what I was thinking I guess i was thinking since I made hardly any money last year that I would have gotten more and I thought I could definitely do the rest on student loans - not really - you can but one needs a co-signer.
I am so freaked out I just am not sure what to do so I guess I am going to go and see what happens at this point there is nothing to loose I have all my stuff in storage I gave up my place where else do I go any way? If I had my car still I could at least live in that but I don't and this must be how people become homeless. Is this all happening because i didn't ask the 8Ball - that sucks. Or is it maybe a lesson in faith? I don't think I have anymore! If this doesn't work it self out I am just not sure what to do - I really don't and I am tired of trying.
Sorry so depressing - just venting my frustation and confusion and all of those other words that end in "ion".

Fantastic News!!

Holy Smokes!! I am in.
I was actually officially accepted to the Culinary Institute of America! Classes start on the 31st. Yes, as in March 31st., and I am moving in one week. Holy Cow one week. Financial aid is still in the works they say not to worry and there seems to be a lot of jobs up there. I can't believe I am moving. Finally some light at the end of the tunnel. What is very ironic about all of this I am leaving almost to the day that I left last year. Did it take me a year to find my path, new direction - apparently so.
There is hope. Hope for the future. Hope to finally get caught up on all my bills, debt. Just plain hope.
Oh, and Happy Easter Egg and Chocolate Bunny to you all.

Flogging Molly

So, if your a fan you know they played in Vegas the other night - One of my best girlfriends went - excited for her sad for me.
Anyways, she called in the middle of the concert so I could listen and gosh it brought the biggest smile to my face still does! Even through all this life drama - for a few seconds it was like I was there and just so sweet of my girl to remember me while she is at a concert with her man - friends they make life just a little more bearable - much love

Since, I am doing shout outs - one goes to a fantastic friend that loaded my ipod with some great tunes for me - another item to be totally gratefully for and makes life a little more bearable actually a lot more bearable since I use it on my two hour commute - thank you! and much love

Only the 8ball from now on...

So I have decided I can not make a life decision to save my life right now!
So that school that I was trying not to get excited (which obviously I have) about still has not received any paper work (we are going on 2 weeks with the USPS) which means no financial aid yet!? Ugh? So what am I suppose to do? It is suppose to start in two weeks - and I told the person whom I rent from that I might be going at the end of the month - so I find out yesterday she took that as I was going to be out on the first, as in gone - which, sadly wasn't even my plan and has someone else moving in on the first. And it isn't just anybody it is actually her boyfriend so it is not like she can say adios! Two weeks to figure things out what a deadline. I don't even have money for a deposit for a new place - do I move? and if so where? what do I do? what do I do? what do I do? what do I do? what do I do? what do I do? what do I do? what do I do?what do I do?
So I am going to try to make all life decisions from now on by the 8ball!

Isn't she cute!

God i love that little girl

interesting story

So I was walking to work as I usually do and...

I was saying my little positive affirmation to myself when I see a check blow by my feet. Yes, I said a check it was blowing down Broad St., I chased it down and guess what? It was a signed check for 1895.00 - crazy huh? Could I have used that right now! So the affirmation that I was saying to myself was, "money comes freely, easily and frequently" so I sincerely hope - that didn't count!

What did I do with the check...are ya wondering? Of course I turned it into the bank on the check - come on now - you should know me by now!

ok...

If things go right - as in maybe I am finally on the right track - I just might be living somewhere else (as in not on the central coast) in 30 days. A new beginning, finally! The sun might just be starting to shine again.

oops!

Just wanted to clarify - I just read that last vomit of my fingers and I just want to make sure that no one thought I was implying that all this crap I have been going through is due to my friends. In no way do I want any of my friends to feel responsible for what I am feeling. All of these crazy, ugly feelings are not because of my friends - sometimes I am sorting things out as I type hence why some are so long winded - just wanted to clarify.

Got some news last night check this out...

The big box store I work for is changing things around - and they are going to move some of there full timers down to part time status - Can a girl get a break? And I do not mean one of my bones.