Changes

Clearly changes will continue whether we want them too or not ...it is going to happen.

In my own life I have dealt with the changes of moving and career all in one swing - which I do not recommend, but if you need to get it done there ya go...go for the gusto. Rebounding can be some what more difficult especially when others have made similar changes and everything is going or what appears to be going great for them - and you are still struggling along. Why is that? Is there a lesson not learned yet? Or do others make major life changes more smoothly? All of this seems to be so petty or irrelevant when you look at the simplicity of life and death...

Tonight, in the middle of my shift I got the call ...our dear friend & favorite bartender from McCarthy's has passed on, he was at home surrounded by his friends and loved ones they he wanted it.
And what a beautiful night it was for dear Clemo - almost a full moon and a lightening storm that I haven't seen the likes of in some time - Cheers to you my friend cheers to you!

So in honor of Clemo and his "questions of the day" Has it all gotten to complicated? I leave that for you all to answer for your selves.


Just feel I need to say...

I hope you all know how much I appreciate and love you all

even though I may not say it all of the time - maybe this was the reminder that we all need to or should say it a little more often.

My brain hurts

So here I sit at work wondering... when will my brain shut off? So many things going on right now - I kind of wish I could just go to someone and ask all the questions...and get all of the answers. But, do I really want all the answers? Probably just want to know am I heading in the right direction? That was the biggest thing on the Camino de Santiago - was to at least know I was going the right way.
So in the big scheme of life am I finally heading in the right direction? Does anyone ever know if they are heading in the right direction? There is a question for ya.

This week has been crazy busy - it started with my sisters wedding in Vegas, then brought my 8 year old niece back with me - Tuesday Mary took me to see Flogging Molly one of my current favorite bands ...LOVED IT! LOVED IT! - work - work- work. I won a dollar from lotto on Wed and then 10 dollars on Sat that 8o million is come soon I can feel it. Vacation baby here I come!

And now Clemo... is well, nearing an end of a two year battle with lung cancer. And Maggie - wow! What a roommate - to hang in there with your roommate who has cancer and basically has come home to pass on. How many of us can even say we have friends that would hang in there through that? To help one die at home? What a fantastic human. Cheers to our own personal odd couple.

Workman's comp - I think a whole blog could be devoted to just that topic alone. My poor mom has been battling it out and I think she sadly is ready to give in - she has nothing left - which is what they try to do beat you down until you give up the fight. That system needs to be overhauled and badly. My mom who hurt her knee at work while delivering someones baby might now loose her house. Not much more to say about that.

Law of Attraction ...is it real? I am trying to be positive and focus on attraction but it is hard at times yet other times so easy. On one hand things in life make you or remind you that the small things are just as important as the big if not more so ...that phone call you keep putting off, a hand written note or even a post it. So many changes going on - death and beginning's - the constant search for the right direction. Is that all life is?

Well, my shift is coming to an end and I think my brain has actually quite -
Good Night
Be good humans

Law of Attraction

It might actually be working I won $10.oo from Lotto this week - Hippeeyyyy!!!!!
Bring on the millions

New Favorite Bar

Nine Fine Irishmen in Las Vegas - awesome!!!!

Well it has been awhile...

So much has been going on and I am plum tuckered out.
My sisters wedding was last weekend in Vegas and it was hot 111 wow! I guess what can you expect in August in Las Vegas.
The wedding was simple, beautiful and quick at Planet Hollywood. Which after the ceremony and dinner we went into the casino - what fun! I love the roulette wheel love it- go me with the green 0 bet! I really wanted to try black jack but all the tables seemed to be 10 dollar bets to rich for my pockets. Next time.
I also learned about timeshares and the sales people are just as bad as car sales people. But the good thing is I got two free stomp tickets and a free two night stay in vegas for the future. I just will never go to one of those again - ever!
I brought my niece Emily home with me so my sister could go on a honeymoon plus I thought this could be a yearly summer thing if it works out. She sort of freaked out on the car ride home when she found out that Auntie doesn't have cable or a microwave. And I wouldn't stop at every fast food place we passed. Things are good now and I think she is having a great time. Next year I would like to have her longer and maybe have her go to camp too. And do more fun stuff since I should actually be making money by then ...at least I hope so.

Guess What?

I won a dollar from lotto today...

Is it a sign ...now just waiting on the 80 million

When am I going to win the lotto?

yep, still hopeful even in my worst moods!

have i figured it out? probably not

So with the help of my little sis -I think we figured out why I have been freaking out seemingly for no reason lately.
I explained everything to her how sensitive or "thin skinned" everyone has said I have been and yada yada and yada yada. Which at this moment I want to say to everyone that knows me - I have a tender heart ,yes. I can be sensitive at times, yes. Isn't that why your friend with me - because I am who I am. I almost just apologized for being too sensitive but, I am not at this point in my life I am who I am and I am not apologizing for being to sensitive, to compassionate or to nice.

So I was explaining to my sister how I have been trying to be distracted by other things helping others and not even that has been working. Talk about a bummer - your life sucks so you distract yourself with someone else's problems and I couldn't even do that right.

This horrible funk I am in could be the result of a fiercely independent person realizing she has no control over anything in her life -currently, ever? I feel like I have no control over anything how busy I am at work, where i live - anything!
Which brings a point to mind do we ever truly have control over our lives? The oddest point of all of this is I do know that I have made the decisions that got me to this point? So that is where I am today wondering where am I going?
What am I doing?
What the fuck am I doing and where the fuck am I going?

Life just sucks sometime

and I do not have a reason why or an answer -

I know that nobody ever said it would be easy but gimme me a break

maybe it's just time for me to drink another snapple

so I can see the wisdom under the cap

Good Times in SF

It is so funny the way life works out. I had thought I canceled this trip even texted my friend that I wouldn't be meeting her in SF and of course she never gets that texts - calls me ok ready to go - all excited and what is a girl to do but say ok I am going. And since I have been trying to watch for signs and just maybe this was one that was saying GO!. Well, I am glad I did - I pretty much had a hellish week at work and was hating life and what a distraction. Met some new people and had a ball. I even fit in a trip to the MOMA which had Matisse on exhibit. I do have to mention one thing I know most of my friends are not museum people but would you talk on your cell phone as your walking around a museum? Would you talk on your cellphone in the presence of Matisse, Van Gogh or Rothko? I certainly hope not. I think talking on your cell phone or having a loud ass conversations is like doing the same in a church ...would ya do it there? When did people loose there manners?