The Reason

Ok, hears a heads up - get a beer or a glass wine and get comfortable this is long!

So a couple of individuals reminded me in the book that the pilgrimage wasn’t really the path at all but possibly everything else or just getting there. In the end they were right.

I realized as well that the whole trip wasn’t about adventure but more about tying to find…me - I guess.
Plus, we all know I can have an adventure going to the grocery store.
Hehehehe
I was in search of that feeling that I can do anything! I had lost it somewhere and where doesn’t really matter but I did want it back. I had also, lost that person that would never continue to do anything that didn’t make her happy in life. Why, I don’t know and I still don’t know. Maybe I thought I really wanted to have a normal job with security and benefits and retire someday but, I have realized that just is not in the cards for me. Plus, does it even exist anymore?
So most of you do not know that once I took off for France the drama did continue - a little and I will share it with you- for nothing more than it is pure comedy at this point.
I get to France late of course because the flights were delayed. The comedy of it all actually started in London I figured I should exchange some currency so when I land in France I would have some – since, they deal in euros – the currency desk says, no wait till France you will get a better rate. And I ask, but will the airport still be open when I get there? I give him the time and of course they will be. So I get to France and of course - no they are not open - well, ok - I will just go to a bank in the am. Oh, no! What did I realize next that the hotel reservation that the travel agent made for me in Lyon was actually for Leon, Spain and not France at all - hehe- funny well, I guess I am staying in the airport then. I know now the exhaustion one feels to go ahead and sleep on the floor of an airport.

So I still have a train ticket to Le Puy where I start the hike oh, yeh those train tickets are also from Leon , Spain and not where I was located in Lyon, France. So back to the currency thing – I now can not leave the airport because nobody takes dollars - and why would they when 1 dollar is almost .75 cents over there or actually less. So now I have to wait till 9am when the currency office opens. Your thinking why not just use your credit cards - well, a hold had been put on them once I left the country because who new to call your credit card company and to tell them that you were leaving the county not me – but now I do. I tell ya - you learn something new everyday. So once the am came around everything did workout and I finally make it to Le Puy.
Le Puy is amazing! The cathedral of Norte Dame sits high above the city and the city it’s self is a composite of the 5th century through the 17th century. I actually had my hands on a door (that is still used today) that was made in the 12th century that is and was so cool. This city not only has this cathedral but it also has this Gigantic Mary statue on a hill that was supposedly where miracle cures happened. And then there is this other church that is I think 275 steps up to the top - built on the remnants of the center of a old volcano. It is called the chapel of St Michael. I was amazed at how old everything is and that they still use it today and it is not behind glass somewhere – very cool.
The next day I want to take off and start the hike and then it gets interesting again. The tourist office gives me the wrong directions to the pilgrim mass and I miss the whole thing and actually have to pay for my pilgrim passport. Ugh! I keep going. So a couple of hours down the trail I am thinking this is so cool I did it I am finally on the trail and all the sudden the sky pretty much instantly turns black and it rains and I mean hard cold rain. I am actually still ok with it I new this would happen. I keep going. Over the next 4 days it rains, snows and giant ice balls fall from the sky all day everyday. On the fourth day – I pretty much think this sucks what the hell was I thinking? Also, at this time I have absolutely no cell service, nobody has computers and why can’t I call collect home? Oh, and the credit cards are locked up again but that’s ok because I have all my Euros I got at the airport.
I want to quit at this point - I really did and my feet were in horrendous bloody shape and I mean literally bloody shape. So I turn to the book and randomly pick a page in my mind I was thinking I wonder what Kelly said about all this? Wow, in her note and her saying I could go home right now and it would be ok – actually gave me the energy the wherewithal, the whatever to get up and keep going. I also finally gave up on the fancy expensive hiking boots at this point and left them on the side of the road. After I did that so many things felt clearer for some reason and I felt pretty awesome this is the point that I also realize that the whole trip wasn’t about adventure but about missing that feeling that I can do anything - I had to stop and write in my journal about it and as I was doing just that – there go those boots on a cute little French girl – I think the boots just needed to be on someone who hiked faster – I hope they are happy together. I know that I have a new found appreciation for my New Balance 881 – I love them.
The next week was hard the descriptions I had read really didn’t describe what I was doing rock climbing and ascending and descending a 1,000 meters a couple of times a day – yikes this is freaking hard. I find out from the few people that I run into that all material is really on the Spanish portion of the route that there is not to much on the French side especially from Le Puy. Oh, ok things make sense now and that is why everything is 3x the amount I budgeted for…nice.

The people I meet are all older I was the youngest I think. And they cruised especially the Germans they could easily do 40 – 50 km a day in all weather. Pyschos! There are people that do this every year - take off 3-4 months and do this every year - that I can not imagine. This is when I found out that I would maybe make it to the border in 6 weeks but to Santiago no way, but this is also when I find out on the trail my nickname is the courageous American. I thought that was the silliest thing I had ever heard. Me courageous? I was sure they just had a translation mix up. Nope, they were sure a girl traveling by herself to a country where she didn’t speak the language to do the Compostela? Courageous.
A couple of days later I realize it does not matter what I do nothing is going to give me that feeling that I can do anything it doesn’t matter if I climbed Mount Everst (don’t worry not in the plans at all) I have it in me to feel that way. Yes, Mom I know it sounds very Wizard of Oz-ish, but it is true. So now can I come home? Not yet.
Easter Day – I have a crazy day planned trying to get to Conque. As most of you know I am in no way a very religious person as in church-y. In fact I used to do this thing where for every church-y holiday I would go to a new church in town. I think I pretty much went through all of them until one holiday and I think it was Easter I was driving down the street to the church I had picked for that day and it was on fire …like burning down to the ground. That was my sign no more churches, that was until this Easter. So I had hiked 9 hours to get to this city which is an oddly perfectly preserved medieval city on the side of a mountain. Why, do I say oddly, because these building have been here centuries and through world wars and they are still there perfectly perched on the side of that mountain. Long story short, in the end I actually got to stay at the Abbey of Conque in that Cathedral compound. Wow! It was amazing! I got to eat in the dining room of this thousand year old town – WOW! And then after dinner they had a special service for the pilgrims and then a private concert in the Cathedral for us it was amazing and beautiful and I felt special. Yes, I felt special how many people get to go there and have a private concert by candlelight with a monk playing a grand piano in this church – wow!
The next day was a mile and a half hike straight up to get back on the trail which did suck even the guy who was doing this on his horse had to get off and walk his horse up the hill. So that is where a lot of the touristy types drop off the trail and then there where less than 6 people doing the trail now including me.
Several days later I had started to dread getting out of my bunk. I was lonely, I wanted to go home – I had figured everything out I was ready. And then my feet had swollen to enormous proportions like I could not get them into a shoe at all or even into my socks – the only answer I got was to stay off your feet for the next week and start up again. I really didn’t like that option. So I would have to pay to stay in this communal environment so that I could hopefully get better and then hike one more week – ah, screw it I was coming home and I was excited and happy!

It took one whole day to hike out of the forest to a city large enough to have a train stop and that is where I said good bye to my New Balance 881’s it was sad and I actually wanted to bring them home but, I am pretty sure that the smell coming from those sneakers would have been considered a terrorist threat so I left them in a cute little trash can in the Figeac Train Station.

It was interesting trying to fly with my feet as they are in London they made me go to the airport hospital to get checked out – the one plus, when you are in a wheelchair you do get to jump ahead of the line in customs so that was nice and I highly recommend it.

So yes, I am home and happy. And a little jet lagged.
Is it scary to be home with no money and no job? Actually, it isn’t I know it will work out and that all that matters is that I am back to myself. Would I be at this point if I hadn’t gone on this trip? Definitely, not I had to get away I had to be isolated for some reason, to figure it all out. It had to be difficult otherwise I would have just trucked along.

Loving being home
Your courageous American

Oh, by the way the French are actually really nice people and they do like Americans